Looking for Joy.

I told my therapist that I don’t remember the last time I was genuinely excited about anything. I haven’t felt pure joy in recent memory. Everything is in shades of grey, shimmering cooly. There is no fire. I do not desire anything, maybe because I desire everything.

I wonder if this is it. Is this the life I want. Or is there something else, some wild beauty that is missing. Maybe I’m just tired and cranky and losing hope in the why.

So I’m making a list of possible things. Wild incredible things. And maybe a desire will ignite inside me again.