The Mental BreakDown Hangover is Real

Well, if anything I’d like to thank my manic depression for giving me the energy to clean my place tonight. Is it a deep clean? Absolutely not. But it’s neater than it was yesterday. A win is a win.

I did laundry. I ran the dish washer. I swept!

I’ve been pretty hard on myself the past couple days. And while I knew the worst anxiety would pass, as it usually does, it always feels lie a small miracle when the tide shifts. I actually gave myself more grace than I’m used to. I let more go and just flowed. Hmm. It’s almost like I’m breaking cycles.

On another note, my sleep schedule is fuckkkked. My sleep apnea is the worst. My CPAP is not CPAPping very well. And I’m frustrated. But someone is going to call me tomorrow to talk about it so maybe the problem has a simple quick easy solution *fingers crossed*

I will die on the hill that everyone deserves the best sleep always. Because damn it really fucks things up when it’s even the slightest bit off. Seriously. I spent years not knowing what good sleep was, and now that I do, I just get pissed every time I can’t sleep.

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